The NHS has just announced that it will be using amateur helmet camera footage as a remedy for insomnia. The news comes after a psychological study found that 90% of helmet camera footage is ‘boring as fuck’.
A clinical trial found the footage to be far more effective than hypnosis, sleep therapy or Xanex. Unfortunately the trial was not a complete success after one subject died after being bored to death.
Dr. Who-ers who was conducting the trial said ‘It was all going to plan until we showed our subject a Gopro footage of some knob riding around on the street outside his house. The subject started to convulse after being made to read the accompanying description and being informed that the author was not in fact a pro but a senior in the SDA. Within 15 seconds of watching the footage the subject was dead.’
The trial found the experiment to be so successful that most subjects had passed out before the third corner of spooky woods. Even those who were mountain bikers were so bored they passed out at the same time, which was surprising seeing as they’ve seen that piece of track countless times before.
The NHS is expected to save millions using the scheme and advises insomniacs to self medicate. The press release stated ‘The best thing about this new therapy is that it can easily be administered by the patients themselves. All they have to do is log on to Facebook, scroll down one page until they find that one friend who thinks they’re Aaron Gwin and play the video.’
Concerns were raised that patients may become dependent on the therapy. However, due to posters being so unoriginal the patients could simply play ‘Sail’ by Awolnation to send them to sleep after 2 months on the program.
Head Jar 